One of the most important things to remember when going through a divorce is your child/children are also involved. You should keep them out of the conflict, if any, between you and your ex and make sure that they are getting the most attention from both of you that is possible. This will make them feel loved and wanted, so that they do not feel as if this is their fault.
Our Concord attorneys see this all the time and our tips below will help you keep a strong bond alive with your children and ways to rebuild your life after the divorce is finalized.
1. Keep Children Out of the Line of Fire
You will want to make sure that you are taking the appropriate steps to keep your children out of the line of fire. You want to keep them safe from all of the problems that can occur during a divorce. You have to make sure that you are helping them through this difficult time and getting them any help that they may need to deal with these pressures.
2. Keep Communication Open
You will want to keep the lines of communication open with your children during a divorce. You want to make them aware that you are there for them at all times and you are going to make everything all right. You have to keep a strict eye on the children that are in the middle of a divorce and make sure that they are not having any bad feelings about this situation. You need to do a lot of reassuring so that they are not negatively affected by the divorce.
3. Seek Counseling through a Professional Therapist
If necessary you may have to seek counseling for your children. You may want to take them to talk to a professional and let them sort through any problems that they may be having because of the divorce that you are going through. They may feel rejected, at fault, sad, depressed, or guilty. No matter what type of feelings they are going through, they may need to talk to someone so that they are able to get help and feel better about what is going on around them.
4. Encourage Them to Ask Questions
You are going to want to find out if they have any questions about what is happening to them. They may want to get some things out in the open and are just too afraid to ask them. This is the time to make it clear that they are allowed to feel how they want and to and that everything will be all right. This is going to comfort them and help them to get their fears out in the open.
5. Keep Everything Honest
You may want to set the children down with you and your ex so that the children are going to be able to talk to both of you about what is going on. This is a good way to make sure that everyone is being honest and that the other parent is not telling the child anything that may be untrue or hurtful towards him or her. It is important to keep any negative remarks banned from the children’s ears during divorce. You do not want to be saying anything bad about the other parent to the child. This will only make the child more confused and may even scare them.
6. Maintain Close Family Relationships
Make sure that the children are keeping a close relationship with both sides of the family as long as it is a healthy relationship. You want to make sure that anything that can stay the same does stay the same. You do not want to be making too many changes in the child’s life. If you can, try and keep them in the same school or as close to their original surroundings as possible. You do not want to take everything away from them because this may be the only feeling of security that they have.
7. Discuss Sharing Child Custody
You may want to try and share custody of the child so that the child is able to have both of their parents any time they need them. You do not want to make any divorce or custody battle ugly. This will only complicate things and make them harder. It is necessary to keep things simple for the children. You will not want to make any child feel uncomfortable in the situation of divorce.
For more information and tips about divorce and child custody, please contact our Concord attorneys for a consultation and how to proceed with your specific circumstances.